Lost In My Paris

                                                I
                                                I
                                             came
                                           to Paris
                                           because
                                        I was lost. I
                                             was
                                             lost
                                             in a
                                           world
                                          that was
                                       just learning
                                       the alphabet
                                      while  I  was
                                     reciting poetry
                                     They couldn't
                                   understand why I
                          feel what               I feel. So
                            I went                   Paris.Where                
                      they don't                      know me.
                They don't know how  I feel, but they still
  care.And when you close your eyes you could just  feel the
   beauty surrounding you. The fresh smell of coffee mixed                             
         with the smell of                           new fallen rain on
    the pavement.And                                 when you open your
         eyes you see                                         endless amounts of
      pine trees and                                             coffee shops. The
   moon is shining                                               so bright you need
sunglasses to see                                                 It's at its fullest full
and I have never                                                  seen anything so
beautiful The                                                       streets were lined with
the finest bakery's                                            and cafes but there were no lines
    Live music filled the street that made you and your heart happy
    Tourists would come from all over
    But they couldn't see and feel the beauty like we could.
    So they never stayed long
    They left, and we were happy to see them go
Every morning I woke up in Paris felt like another good reason to be alive

Final Final Final

Final day to tell "the truth"
Final day to say what's really on my mind



And to say what I've really wanted to say all along;

Fake people make me uncomfortable
Maybe that's why going to school is so hard for me

Depression is more than just feeling sad

Food always seems to taste better after midnight

The reason I don't post once a week isn't because I forget
It's because nothing ever seems good enough to say

The stereotype of a football player is almost always wrong
But the stereotype of a cheerleader is almost always right

Real friends won't watch as you sit alone at lunch

I drink Starbucks and read books... because I like it
Not because everyone else is doing it

Drives up the canyon are something we take for granted
because they are so "mainstream"
but we're lucky to live in such a beautiful place

We're supposedly supposed to get 8 hours a sleep 
But I paint until 4 am on school nights
Because it makes me happy
(and I always regret it in the morning)

Sometimes I look out at the rain and think
How something so beautiful can seem so sad

And I wish I could just ask Siri how to fix sadness
But it's not that easy.

People Help The People

Standing on the outside looking in
at all of these broken people
Pretending to be
somebody they're not

 I remember what that felt like,
to be broken...

There seemed to always be someone to impress
Always someone looking down on you
And not even the strongest drug could fix
the sadness that ran through you

Being with so many people
yet feeling completely alone
Having long conversations
about absolutely nothing
It was like
Going to the most amazing restaurants
and only ordering a side salad

I took a couple steps back and realized
There's so much more to life than which side of the knight you sit on
And what your social status was in High School

Sometimes all we need is a reality check to help you realize that life's good, and if it isn't then take a few steps back and maybe then you'll see why.

Help me be whole again

my heart aches for you
the way the moon aches for the suns light
Because without you it's just dark
I feel shattered and broken
and you're the only one who can put me back together

But I ache most of all to be whole
As myself
and not with you
I need to feel like I'm worth more than a cheap date and a kiss goodnight
My happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not I got a text from you that day
But it does..

So this is goodbye

So long my friend

    Be

Because I've never loved anything more than I love the moon.
Because like the moon I'm so timid,
Hiding the best parts of myself away from the world.

You know me as La Luna,
But I know me as the girl that Kisses too often
And loves too deeply
The girl that drives too fast And walks too slow
The girl that Yearns to be happy
But does nothing about it
The girl that has Looked and looked for Paris
But has yet to find it
Because of La Luna I've finally closed open wounds
And have learned that it's okay to open up and share

So I beg you to sit and stay awhile
There are so many drafts un-posted
Still so many words unsaid
And so many laughs yet to share
Because the best of life has yet to start
Wth love,
Kayla Foote                  

Lost Heart, contact me if found

Your hear beats up to 144,000 times per day. 
It's what keeps us alive and breathing
Every feeling that we feel and every feeling that we don't
Yet we give our hearts away to people who will just hurt and misuse them
Who will treat them no different than they would a piece of garbage

 

I met a boy and thought he cared 
So I opened up with him and shared
He stole my heart and didn't give it back
When I realized what had happened
 It was already too late, and my insides were just black
I found it lying out on the street 
All bruised and broken,
I put it back
 Misused and mistreated but, it still continued to pump for me

To friends I've hurt

Dear old friends who I've hurt,

It wasn't you, it was me. I found myself locked inside my own dark mind. Not able to find the key, not able to escape. So I grew distant and didn't want you around anymore. I kept blaming you for everything that went wrong in life because you weren't there. But I pushed you out and didn't give you a key to get back in. And I'm here to say, I'm sorry. I know you have already moved on with different friendships, as you should. But I want you to know, no matter how much you ignore me or how mean you can be, I will always  have a special place in my heart for you. No your label in my heart is not under "Best Friend" but under "someone who I needed at that moment." So thank you and I'm sorry. 

Love, LaLuna